Are you your own best friend?

Take a moment to reflect on the relationship you have with yourself. Are you kind, supportive, and loving? It’s shocking how many of us say things to ourselves that we would never say to another person.

How we talk to ourselves matters.

Whether you notice it or not, we’re constantly talking to ourselves in our head. Are you aware of your internal dialogue? Since it’s happening all the time it is easy to not notice what we’re saying to ourselves. Being aware of your internal dialogue is the first step to improving your self-talk, which is one of the best ways to maximize your mindset for success. So take a minute to assess by asking yourself the following questions:

When I think or talk about myself, am I positive or critical of myself?

Do I focus on my successes and the things I’m doing right or do I tend to focus on my mistakes and shortcomings?

When I look in the mirror do I compliment myself and say nice things or do I focus on my flaws and say negative things to myself?

Your thoughts about yourself filter out information

The things we think about ourselves matter a lot. Our perception of ourselves and our thoughts about who we are creates a filter. This filter allows in information that proves us right and filters out information that proves us wrong. This is very helpful because we have millions of pieces of information coming into our brains every single second. If this information wasn’t filtered out, we’d be too overwhelmed to function at all. 

So this filter is great except that we all have limiting beliefs about ourselves, so we will constantly receive information that proves those limiting beliefs are correct. For example, if you feel like you’re not good enough you basically only see things that reinforce the belief that you’re not good enough because you’re filtering out and can’t receive information that proves that you are good enough. A more simple example of this is if you get a new car, you start to see that car everywhere you go. It’s not that the specific type of car you’re driving is actually on the road more, it’s that you simply were filtering out before. 

So when you are thinking and saying negative things about yourself, you’re actually unconsciously blocking any information that would make you feel better and focusing on things that make you feel bad. In this way it becomes a snowball because the information you’re receiving reinforces the belief and the belief gets stronger so you get more information to prove it right and so on. A way to recognize how much you’re blocking positive information to yourself is thinking about when people give you compliments and gifts. Do you deflect and minimize compliments or do you simply let them sink in and say thank you? When receiving gifts do you feel unworthy or uncomfortable or do you feel honored that someone thought of you?

The external world is a mirror of your internal thoughts

Your thoughts you have about yourself (and everything really) are reflected into the external world. All thoughts have an energy to them and that energy is projected into the world and things of a similar vibration (people, situations, events) will be attracted to you based on what you’re thinking. If you’re afraid of being rejected by people, you’re more likely to attract people that are likely to reject you. When you feel unworthy, you’re more likely to attract a partner that doesn’t value you. When you’re worried about how much your services cost in your business, you’re more likely to attract people that think your services are too expensive. Your external reality is always reflecting to you your beliefs, thoughts and feelings. If you want to know about your internal reality – look around you and observe the things in your life.

So when it comes to how you think about yourself, are you your biggest cheerleader or your biggest critic? When you become aware of your internal dialogue about yourself and shift it to be more positive in your head, this will lead to more positive experiences in your life. 

How to have a more positive internal self-talk:
1. Show yourself some love: every time you look in the mirror, say nice things about yourself. Do at least one nice thing for yourself each day. When we have more love for ourselves in our head, the amount of love we have in our life grows too!
2. Be your own cheerleader: Consider writing down 5 things everyday that you did well. This conscious attention focusing on the positive aspects of yourself will shift your unconscious thoughts about yourself.

Choose self-compassion: Forgiving yourself is a key to self-compassion. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself some grace. Instead of beating yourself up for mistakes you’ve made, work on forgiving yourself and loving yourself anyways